Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s...– Jodi Picoult (via kari-shma)
send me a number
1: i'd fuck u hard over a table
ibetmittromney: I bet Mitt Romney wears a Snuggie to sporting events.
theoreticallypooping: OMFG TODAY I HOOKED MY LAPTOP UP TO THE PROJECTOR SO I COULD DO MY [PRESENTATION AND I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOTU MY LAPTOP BACKGROUND AND EVERYONE STARTED LAUGHING REALLY HARD EVEN MY TEACHER AND I WAS REALLY CONFUSED AND THEN I REMEMBERED IT WAS THIS
skizzisaboss10: when jesus said love thy neighbor i think he really meant don’t put a fucking password on your wifi
sharonosbourne: Now That’s What I Call: I’m Not Like Most Girls featuring major hits like “Please Don’t Use The Word ‘Faggot’ It Offends Me” and “Yes I’m A Girl (Yes, I Play Video Games)” feat. Adele
groovymuttations: how many times do those hurricane namers need to be reminded that frilly names like Isaac will not scare anyone into safety name a hurricane something scary like Count Dicksmasher the Third and then we’ll talk
oops it's 3 am again and here i am absolutely...
I really probably shouldn’t have taken that nap earlier. It was totally necessary at the time though. Ah well. At least I have my homework done and everything ready to be packed so I can shove it all in my bag after I get ready in the morning. Because once I’m packed and everything Sam time is guaranteed c: And Sam time is delightful. And hopefully school is good tomorrow despite my...
purrface: I felt something catch in my throat, a sudden surge of sadness that caught me unaware, almost taking my breath away. That was the thing. You never got used to it, the idea of someone being gone. Just when you think it’s reconciled, accepted, someone points it out to you and it just hits you all over again. - Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever
whats the difference between eridan and an onion
missangeloflight: mk412: theturntechgodhead: people cry if an onion is cut in half Best joke.
Anonymous asked: You are totally Abu the monkey
Reblog if you want someone to compare you to a...
blood-pulsation: dad-butts: tinyrocketeer: dad-butts: tinyrocketeer: tinyrocketeer: i MUST ATTRACT A MATE WITH MY MATING CALL WHERE IS MY MATE A MATE HAs beEN ATTRACTED THEY USE THE CHARMS OF RAD SHADES TO RECIPROCATE YOUR SEDUCTION Tumblr attracts some of the best fucking people I swear to god
b-baka-its-not-like-i: when you see the typo right as you click ‘create post’
tom-sits-like-a-whore: i love how tumblr is a bunch of really intellectual activists who understand politics, religion, sexuality, and literature better than most of the human population but put an exceptionally attractive British man in front of them and everyone is reduced to ALKSDJFLADSJFLJASLDJF;KSADJFLJSDLKFJS OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU FACE SIR UNF UNF UNF UNF GET NAKED IN MY BED NOW THE...
8 yo brother: When I have a family, I’m going to Hawaii. You can come, too.
Me: By then, I’ll have a family! They’ll have to come too.
Brother: Tsk. How you gon have a family and you don’t have a boyfriend?!
Me: . … . What!
Brother: You need to get you a boyfriend. Why you don’t have one?
Me: Hmm, I don’t know. I guess I don’t want one.
Brother: Is Prince married? You can marry Prince!
Me: Prince is over 50.
Brother: So! He still sings.